I made a foolish decision to have a nap yesterday after dinner. I woke up at 9 and thought it was Saturday morning, the crushing realisation that it was Thursday night was so awful I went back to sleep for two more hours. Having slept longer than I usually do in a night I settled in for a few sleepless hours and was just getting back to sleep when an earthquake struck. Immediately flooded with adrenaline sleep alluded me until nearly 5am.
It's 8am as I write this, I'm drinking a cup of tea and cuddling dogs. I can hear my kids playing in the next room. I don't think anything productive will be happening for a while and I'm totally OK with that.
When people hear that we are a home educating family their reaction is almost always that they couldn't do it because it's too much work. I don't often talk about the reality, usually glossing it over by admitting that yes, it can be nonstop at times (but that it's usually fun nonstop) but it's a lot easier in many ways because we don't have the morning rush and evening crash dynamic.
We weren't always a home educating family. There was a time when we were deeply entrenched in Early Childhood Education with both kids attending Playcentre and Kindy. I don't talk about the reasons why we home educate a lot (and today is not that day*) but a huge part of it is the way we all struggled during this time. The morning rush/evening crash and not honoring our inate rhythms put such a strain on our family dynamic and it wasn't pretty.
As I listen to my kids settle into their day and try to shake the sleep from my bones I'm again so thankful for these quiet mornings. Ironically, that game they're playing is cajoling their Barbies into getting ready for Barbie school and navigating traffic to get them there. It sounds hectic 😅.
I wrote this a while ago and it still rings true. I hope everyone else who had a sleepless night finds their day kind to them.
Noho ora mai
Ash
Does anyone else ever play Sliding Doors (probably now obscure 90s Gwenyth Paltrow film)?
I'm sitting down drinking an excellent cup of coffee reading blog posts and cracking walnuts that another unschool mum gave me.
Both of my children are engrossed in playdough, after a super rough start to the day they turned it around all on their own.
We have nowhere to be until 4pm this arvo and a fridge full of leftover vege soup. The sun is shining and my washing will be hung and dry whenever I can be arsed getting to it.
I've just been presented with a steaming bowl of playdough salmon stew and playdough "regular meat" pizza for my 2nd breakfast.
Somewhere out there in a parallel universe is a version of me frantically trying to convince my anxious and overwhelmed 6yo that she needs to wear clothes and go to school while throwing together the lunch that even though it happens 5x a week I'm still thoroughly unprepared for every morning.
Where the fuck are the shoes!?
I'm watching the clock and have the unhung pile of washing weighing heavily on my soul, that will take at least 7 minutes, 7 minutes that I will need to leave my finally dressed 6 and 4yos unsupervised and it rained yesterday and there are puddles everywhere.
I'm at my wits end as one child emerges crying with mud in his hair and holding a just found pair of shoes dripping mud everywhere. I throw the muddy child in the shower and rinse out the mud, he can go barefoot today. The school going child emerges from the unsupervised abyss now naked and swinging her own mud covered shoes by their laces covering the hall in mud splatters having just done the same to the washing.
Amongst the din a sound cuts through, a harsh and gutteral screech that could only be some sort of sea bird. "The lesser spotted boobie," announces an infuriatingly calm female voice - the chalk to my "where are the gumboots? you need to wear shoes!" cheese. Then those fucking pips and the news bulletin. I'm late again.
I herd everyone to the kitchen and take a moment to make myself a coffee in my takeaway mug - I'm late anyway and I haven't eaten yet this will have to suffice for breakfast - and steel myself for the fight to get into carseats I'm about to have in full view of my retiree neighbours' judging eyes.
Somehow my children are now both in the sandpit fully engrossed in play so I beg and threaten them out and do my best to brush the sand off. We walk past strawberries on the way to the car and the minute it takes to pick them feels like an eternity. The car battle is mercifully short this morning because I hold onto the strawberries as a bribe - they can have them when they are in their seat. My eyes zero in on the moulding strawberry tops alongside the seat from the last time I did this. I shut the door and am outside the car, alone, and it is quiet.
In all honesty this is one of the best parts of my day, I hold my head high as if I am an Amazonian Queen emerging triumphant from battle and give a wave to the amused retiree watching the circus from his porch. I take a full minute to breathe in the morning and go check the mail before getting into the car.
Both kids have taken off their gumboots and socks and thrown them on my seat and they've somehow picked up bouquets of dandelions for me along the way. They ask if we can go to the beach after school. I say yes but wonder if they'll be up to it or how I can cram a beach visit in amongst all the rest of the after school/bedtime madness.
I think about the time I thought I might unschool my kids as I drive off and how I could have never done that because it would be so much work for me.
*a wee note mentioning that I'm aware that being in a position where we can home educate is a huge privilege. This is another reason why I don't really talk about this stuff. I can see how much people I care for struggle with the stress and a lot of the tough things about the school system and a culture that doesn't centre children and their caregivers. I'm thankful every day that we took a different path but that was a decision for our own family and everyone else finds their own way working with what they have. I'm really uncomfortable with the shallow and vicious way that social media often frames parenting choices as opposing factions. It is not my intention to do that 💕.